« You give a man a fish, he eats for a day. You teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. If you ever, ever try to teach Chuck Norris about fishing then he will use your testicles as bait. »
« Shortly after winning the 1978 international Kung Fu title Chuck Norris flew around the world in a hot air balloon in 3 days, prooving that records are simply a list of things Chuck Norris has never attempted. »
« Chuck Norris' real name is actually unknown. He adopted the name "Chuck Norris" because his actual real name spoken out loud would cause severe bleeding from the ears and your head to explode. »
« The reason so many people watched Walker: Texas Ranger over the period of eight years was not because they actually enjoyed the show, but out of sheer respect for Chuck Norris. »
« Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on. »
« The beans from jack & the beanstalk weren't magical until Chuck Norris accidentally spit on the spot the beans were planted, he was also the giant( & it wasn't fee fi fo fum, it was 3, 4, 5, gunned). »
« Chuck Norris can impregnate women by simply raising his right eyebrown. He can impregnate men by raising his left eyebrow but he doesn't bother because he doesn't want a world like that crap Ahnuld film "Junior". »