« Originally, the universe was two dimensional. A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris knocked a guy into the third dimension, dragging everything else with it from the force of the blow. »
« Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck once made a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line...of the Qualcomm stadium in San Diego. »
« When Chuck Norris plays "Guess Who", he doesn't ask any questions. He stares at his game board until all the pieces flip down in fright, except for one. And that one, without fail, is the person you chose. »
« In an alternate universe, the clean-shaven Chuck Norris of the 1970s is engaged in an epic battle with the bearded Chuck Norris of the 80s and 90s. The result of this conflict is the Aurora Borealis. »
« Instead of the morning after pill, after unprotected sex have sex with Chuck Norris. His sperm will roundhouse kick and kill all "non-Norris" sperm penetrators. »
« Contrary to popular belief the challenger space shuttle did not fail because of an o-ring but because an experimental mixture 300,000 parts ethanol and one part Chuck Norris semen. »
« The Eiffel tower still stands now in Paris only because Chuck has never been to Paris to roundhouse kick it down. He said he'd put up with it still standing as long as he didn't have to go to France, ever. »
« Chuck Norris submitted a petetion of 10,000 signatures to McDonalds demanding they bring back "The McRib" sandwich.
McDonalds brought it back until they realized every signature was in Norris' handwriting. »
« A variation in concept of the movie "Face-Off", Chuck Norris can rip the face and the ass off of his victims and reattach them in opposing places on the victim's body. »